That One Time I Was Accidentally Drugged and I Still Don’t Know How to Feel About It

I have always been sober, in my 30 years on this earth I’ve never been drunk or high. Alcohol and drugs never interested me, not least because I witnessed how it could change a person or have them make a fool of themselves (flashback to college frat parties where the air smelled of urine and desperation, the floors were like walking on sticky tac, the red solo cups filled with warm amber liquid (is it even beer at that point?), loud voices and louder music disrupted the stars, and the hot, yeasty breath of semi attractive, belligerent boys brushed my neck.) but mostly, it’s because I won’t allow myself to lose control of my mind or body (I’m not a control freak, you are!!!)

Throughout my adulthood, my sobriety has swung back and forth between being something I’ve tried to hide, and being my entire personality. Currently, it’s in the middle; not something I’m ashamed of, but I don’t advertise it either. It’s just, who I am.

A few months ago, I was sitting at a bar in the middle of at a food court minding my own business, innocently reading my murder book. I asked the bartender for a non-alcoholic cocktail that was in the menu, and she handed me a can with a glass (Okay, I thought it would be house made, but sure still sounds good. Tastes a little weird, but it’s something I’ve never tried before so that’s probably why.) It was 2pm, the sun was shinning, the room was pretty crowded, and I was absorbed in the details of Jack the Ripper’s various disembowelments. My brain started getting a little foggy, and I felt very aware of my throat swallowing. I rationalized this as that start of a panic attack, which is normal for me to have in public spaces. I took deep breaths, and tried to focus on my book. It got weird when the letters started floating off the page and reorganizing into nonsensical gibberish. Am I having an allergic reaction? My heart started palpitating. Maybe there’s hidden pineapple in the drink? I picked up the can and looked at it for the first time. Underneath the logo, it said in bold “15 mg THC”. Ummmmmmm what? I definitely did NOT order this…I waved the bartender over and in the calmest way possible (was I yelling? Why was my voice so loud?) that I think I was given the wrong drink. In my panic I told her that I’d never been high before and that this was my first experience with THC. It wasn’t her fault, it was a mistake and I do not blame her. But I was FLYING and I was FREAKING OUT. This poor bartender accidentally dosed me. Like A LOT. She felt terrible, mixed me the drink I had initially asked for, and I started to come down. A few weeks later the establishment closed (not because of me I swear.)

And that is my first and last experience with THC, and hopefully getting drugged with anything ever. I do not recommend getting non-consensually high and reading about gruesome serial killers. You’ve been warned