You’re Losing Me

notes on resignation

I quit my toxic job

It felt amazing

I sent the owners a two-sentence resignation email with a 24-hour notice. I worked my final shift, and left.

I never got a response from the owners, but my employees showed gratitude, joy, and sadness as I hugged them goodbye.

Three days later, and I’m sitting on my couch with newfound freedom, the promise of a new role starting in a week, and endless possibilities.

So why am I still feeling so drained? Is my nervous system just regulating itself? How come whenever I pick up a book or start to do a task, I immediately want to lay down for a nap? I have passion projects and a To-Be-Read list and people to see and laundry to fold, but nothing sounds as fun or fulfilling as just…sleeping. I have 7 days until my new job starts, the job I hoped and prayed so hard for, the job I really didn’t think I could get, and now my brain isn’t even excited. It’s tired.

I really am eager for this new chapter, and so happy to be out of such a terrible work environment where the owners claimed I “contributed nothing” and “didn’t know how to do the job” while I broke my back and burned my skin realizing their dreams while they stood by and watched, offering no support, only criticism.

I never have to see or hear from them again, and I will get to learn so many skills and techniques in my new role, while receiving the proper support from management and staff.

But right now the joy is drowned out by a blanket of blurred discomfort and unsureness while I attempt to spend my days meaningfully, but mostly unconscious.